Go beyond their behaviors.
A 15-minute quiz for parents of children ages 3 to 10 that produces a written profile of how your child is wired, what's going on underneath their behaviors, as well as actionable insights you can implement today to help them thrive in their difficult moments.
Free while we test it & receive your feedback. After this stage is complete, profiles will be a one-time $24 purchase.
How it works
The quiz requires 15 minutes, it consists of mostly multiple choice questions about your child's everyday experiences: how they engage new places, how their big feelings look from the outside, how hard days affect them, etc. You'll also get to share three short stories so we can know your child in your own words. There are no right answers.
The resulting profile supports its claims so you don't have to wonder or trust. Each section describes a characteristic of your child, what the research says is underneath those behaviors and links it with answers you provided. Additionally, the profile identifies what experiences can be difficult for your child and suggests changes you can make to that environment to help them thrive.
The bottom of each section allows you to describe how well it fit your child by selecting either fits/ partly/ doesn't. This feedback helps continually improve these profiles.
What it's built on
The profiles draw on decades of research into how children differ in temperament, such as how they approach new things, how strongly they react, how they adapt, and how sensitive they are to their surroundings. The claims in the profile cite the specific research that supports them, and every research study is listed in our Sources page. The profile also references answers from your quiz that inform the claim so that if it doesn't quite seem to fit your kid, you'll know why.
Where we are. The temperament research is well-developed but the tool we've built to give tailored access & advice in its early stages. We will continually work to improve both the profile and the actionable insights. You're a key part of this stage: thank you for testing with us & providing feedback, which is crucial to improving profiles. We hope your child's free profile meaningfully impacts your family just like it did for ours. After the feedback stage is complete, we will offer profiles at a one-time cost of $24. If you're curious about the underlying research you can find all of it in our Sources page.
Who's behind it. A parent/data scientist, whose experience raising his own young children through their highs and lows led him to seek out every helpful resource available. How They’re Wired was built to make those resources broadly available and specifically curated to your family’s distinct needs.
You can reach Matt at [email protected].
No labels. No diagnoses. No types.
We describe how your child tends to be, in which situations, and what can help them thrive when things get difficult. Importantly, we also tell you what we can't know yet. Your child is not a category, and we will not lump them into one. Additionally, nothing here is a clinical tool and should not be used as one. Read our statement.
Privacy. The quiz should be taken only by adults. Your answers are saved & securely stored so you can come back to them. We will never sell your data. You can delete all your data by asking. We also proactively limit what data we collect to make it difficult to misuse; for instance we only ask for your child's age in years, never a specific birthday. Finally, nothing you write is used for marketing purposes, without your direct consent. Privacy policy.
What a profile looks like
Every profile ends with one thing to try first and a page you can print for the fridge. See a sample written for a fictional child, Mia (age 4) or Theo (age 9).
FAQ
What do I actually get?
A written profile of your child, with:
- Six sections: new things and people; big feelings and what helps; focus and follow-through; senses and noticing; rhythm and the shape of a day; free time.
- A strength to notice in each section.
- What to try first, and what you could say after a rough moment.
- The gap people miss: how others tend to read your child.
- A one-page card to print or keep on the fridge.
- A one-page sheet you can hand to a teacher or grandparent.
See a sample profile for a made-up child.
How will my parenting actually change?
You'll feel more prepared for the moments that are hardest for your child! You'll be equipped with a practical step to help your kid thrive in the moments that matter most to you and your child.
Each section ends with one practical step to try, the moment to try it in, and a sign to watch for that tells you whether it's working.
What backs this up?
The questions are written on the dimensions researchers use to describe children — approach, intensity, adaptability, sensitivity to the senses and the rest — and on the idea that what matters is how well the environment fits the child, which researchers have studied since the 1950s. The profile names the research behind each claim in plain words.
Is this a screener for anything?
No. It doesn't look for conditions and it won't suggest one. If your child already has a diagnosis, you don't need to share it. The profile is built from how your child actually acts day to day, and it won't add or confirm a label.
Can my child do it?
No. The quiz should be taken only by adults. It's about your child, answered by you.
Who else sees it?
Nobody unless you share it. A future version will let a co-parent answer too; you'll preview exactly what they'd see before anything is sent.